All of a sudden tonight I just got super lonely. I forget what it was but something reminded me of my friend. Well we were almost more than that. He is one of the most frustrating people I have ever met in my entire life. When I’m with him I either hate him or I love him there is no in between. But, we have had problems since the day I met him. It was literally 4 days before we were leaving for the end of my freshmen year in college but from the second he came over to talk to me for the first time we were literally inseparable for those 4 days. The whole week after we moved out we talked on aim for at least 8 hours a day. Then he left to go to texas for eight months for military training. At least two of those months he had no connection to the outside world except maybe twice when they would let him call someone for 15 minutes. One of those times he called me. Out of anyone, he called me. Then, he comes back in January but not in time to take classes at our school and he still had to work on a base like two hours away. But he came to visit me and his other friends at our school and many of those nights he slept over with me. All of our friends thought we’d be perfect together and really wanted us to be. I mean I wasn’t completely sure I did but at the same time I knew I actually really did. And I’m pretty sure he knew I did too. But I NEVER knew how he felt. One day we’d be lying in bed together perfectly fine and everything was great and the next we’d be fighting about something completely stupid. Again, it came time to leave for the summer and we talked about seeing each other over the summer but I never heard from him. Then, it came time to go back to school he was actually able to go back to our school but I wasn’t. I went to California for the semester. And I mean we talked a lot while I was out there, even skyped for hours a few times. Since I’ve been back? I saw him once in passing and got one text from and a facebook message. usually I wait for him to text me cause I feel like I’m bothering him if I text him but now that I want to I feel like I’ve waited too long. I miss him. I honestly never thought I’d say that because the last few times I saw him he pissed me off more than he ever had and I hated him. Now I just miss him. I want him to come lay next to me and hold me while we sleep. I so badly want to text him right now and just tell him I miss him. But he’d probably just think I’m crazy….

Both my teams have very big games to play. I probably should’ve gotten some homework done today.

basically sums up part of what I was ranting about earlier

always know what to play to make me feel worse about myself. nice timing >.<